How to Garden Your Own Way
Hi, my name is Ellen and I’m a seed-aholic. It’s been four days since I last sowed a seed.
I haven’t always been like this. The first time I attempted to garden a space of my own, I put a 6-pack of petunias into a fairly large ground space. It was roughly 2 square yards…and 6 petunias. If you’re not a gardener, that’s like adding one pinch of salt on an entire turkey.
I would later learn that patch of my garden was my biggest trouble spot. It got 13 hours of uninterrupted sunlight per day. It was well-draining, far from a hose, far from the house, and right next to a sidewalk, which is to say, “welcome dog piss.”
“They’ll spread out,” I said. “It’ll perk up this corner,” I hoped.
They looked cute for six days. I did not keep up with their strict watering needs. Partly because I simply didn’t find out what those were.
I had watched members of my family garden with what looked like unconcerned care. Stick a plant in the ground, give it a good watering, and let it do its thing.
I thought I could take the same approach to my plants. What I didn’t realize was how much knowledge they had accumulated over their years of gardening. That knowledge hovered ever-present in their consciousness. They didn’t look concerned because they already knew what they were doing and what their plants needed.
Over the next few years, I gardened more and more. This is to say that I bought a ton of plants and plopped them into the ground. It was fun. It was haphazard. At one point I invested in a flat of natural stone and built a small retaining wall to add levels to the garden.
But overall, it was a large and awkward space. I really had no idea what I was doing.
When the pandemic hit, spending time in my garden graduated from enthusiastic hobby to full obsession. My mom told me about a show called ‘Big Dreams, Small Spaces’ with Monty Don. The obsession grew. And then I found his other show, ‘Gardeners’ World,’ and all of a sudden, I was given strategy, know-how, and actual ideas.
I applied design elements. I started growing from seed. I transformed whole spaces. I created trellises from Japanese Maple tree prunings. When I was four months pregnant, I laid a natural stone path in the back garden.
But most important of all, I learned what I valued most in my garden. I needed to walk among a tall, flowy space jam-packed with native perennials. It wouldn't be a border you admire from the sidelines, but a garden you move through. It would function as part of a healthy ecosystem. I’d also need to incorporate my new found obsession with growing from seed.
These elements became the driver for everything I did.
It ruled out a lot of modern gardening standards: trim borders, fertilized ground, buying everything from garden centers, use of pesticides and herbicides, anything with landscape fabric, lawn as the main character, perfection.
I’d need to embrace some difficult-for-me virtues: patience, planning, strategy. But also keep some of favorites: chaos, whimsy, and improv.
The fun of gardening evolved. In the early days, the best part was digging plants into the ground after a good hunt in the garden center. Today, it’s planning a new bed around the feel I want and what seeds are available on prairiemoonnursery.com. The IL natives plant filter is always on. I’m not sure if anything compares to high when the seed germinates.
So how does all of this boil down to gardening in your own way?
How to Find Your Gardening Purpose
If this were an online recipe, this is where you’d land if you clicked “jump to recipe.”
I really believe that everyone should garden (p.s. ground is not required if you live in an apartment). The mental health benefits alone are worth it. But everyone needs to garden in their own way for the benefits to last.
Gardening can feel like it’s being gate-kept by all sorts of rules, expectations, and judgments. This is intimidating and enough to turn anyone off. The good news is that's mostly bullshit. Two exceptions: pesticides and herbicides — just never And landscape fabric, save your money. Weeds always find a way, and the fabric kills your soil.
There is no one way to garden. There are about 18 different ways to trellis tomatoes. No one needs raised beds; they’re simply a nice-to-have. There’s always something that will grow somewhere, don’t let your growing conditions hold you back.
Are you getting the idea? If you think you can’t garden because you’re not going to do it right, then start gardening right now. Because even when you kill a plant, you’re doing it right.
But figuring out what you want from your garden will be your beacon. It will narrow down the scope and give you purpose. When I planted that 6-pack of petunias, I took something cheap from the garden center and plopped them into the ground. I knew I wanted to garden, but that was the extent of my directive. If I had figured out my ‘why,’ I would have gotten a bunch of tall grasses, compass plant, and purple prairie clover.
If the mystery is not knowing what you want, start by eliminating what you wouldn’t want. If gardening content took over your feed, what would you scroll past? For me, it would be perfect looking beds, advice on pest control, advice on weed control, highly commercial elements, etc. Did you eliminate anything?
When You Know…
When you ultimately decide your gardening purpose, write it down and say it out loud.
Mine was tall, natural flowy-ness I can walk among, grown from seed to satisfy my addiction, and support a backyard ecosystem.
With that in mind, I can begin to contemplate my next step forward:
Perhaps I find an aerial view of my yard, take a picture, and draw a design on top of that.
Maybe I start thinking about planting options.
I could start with hardscaping options.
Perhaps I find two or three structural plants to get into the ground now so they can start growing asap?
Are these options feeling overwhelming? Remember two things:
You’d have way more options if you hadn’t narrowed down your purpose
It’s a garden, y’all. It’s not an emergency room. It’s ok not to get it right the first time. Or second time, or any time.
Write down a few options and start with what feels right and fits your wallet. Then do those.
When that’s done, take a step back to see how it felt. Always take time to enjoy and reflect.
Then repeat. Find your next step.
At some point, you’ll have yourself a garden. And if you follow your purpose, you’ll have yourself a garden that you love.